A 32-year-old (definitely single) computer programmer named Maddox (
maybe he inspired Angelina? he did not inspire Angelina) started off at an uber humble homepage: http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net. And really, who wouldn’t be bitter about being at a .net – it’s not the 90’s when people weren’t sure which way this domain name thing was going to go.
But, amidst all of Maddox’s inane angry cubicle ramblings (obviously written while glaring at his coworkers who wouldn’t invite him to join for lunch at Chili’s), his posts about kid artwork managed to strike a populist nerve. We’ll allow Maddox to explain, as only he can:
If you work in an office with lots of people, chances are that you work with a person who hangs pictures up that their kids have drawn. The pictures are always of some stupid flower or a tree with wheels. These pictures suck; I could draw pictures much better. In fact, I can spell, do math and run faster than your kids. So being that my skills are obviously superior to those of children, I’ve taken the liberty to judge art work done by other kids on the internet. I’ll be assigning a grade A through F for each piece.
Who hasn’t secretly felt some version of this when obliged to compliment others’ children? While both posts would inspire any competent mental health professional to recommend therapy with a side dish of anger management, it’s
hard impossible not to laugh…
These days, Maddox is under the impression that he is taking over the
world “universe” with this concept, as he now hosts the fancy .com website “I am Better Than Your Kids” where he seems pretty pumped delusional about a book he’s working on:
People have been asking me for years to write more children’s artwork, and now it’s going to happen.
The irony of inflating your own talents and imploring others to recognize them after mocking this exact characteristic in others is literally too much for us to handle.